Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

badgirl00069

Search for a member

badgirl00069

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 January 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 492
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About badgirl00069 : 510 curvy and sexy mother and father of 1 beautiful girl whos my world. I also work a full time 50 hour weekly job. I love all kinds of music and I'm a little bit of a gamer . I have 9 piercings and like 20 tatts at least my hole back is done I don't have time for bull shit or drama and I'm not into sexting so please dont message me with hey do u wanna see my d$%& or what not but if u wanna chat I love chatting with new people send me a message

badgirl00069's page activity

Visits<b>jipster</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:45am<b>DijahP</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:13am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:01pm<b>anthony89</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:58pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:01pm<b>Shamp0wa</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:35pm<b>mixinitup</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:36am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:13pm<b>Chambers1985</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:22pm<b>Thales_</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 5:56am<b>MandMmuffinMan</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 12:41am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:54pm<b>Mini96</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 6:15pm<b>GIGA_IMPACT</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:48pm<b>xXTaigaXx</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:22am<b>Lystune42</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 5:51pm<b>ilovemychem</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 7:50pm

Liked!<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:01pm

badgirl00069's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of badgirl00069's badges

badgirl00069's favorite FMLs

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56373) - you deserved it (6008)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55969) - you deserved it (4426)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56551) - you deserved it (15934)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68387) - you deserved it (9016)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51814) - you deserved it (11194)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

#20815318
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59332) - you deserved it (6550)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by countryblumpkin (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

#20815203
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54033) - you deserved it (3568)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67464) - you deserved it (5818)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59017) - you deserved it (10570)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54584) - you deserved it (5247)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

#20813928
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29706) - you deserved it (43111)

On 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by psychic parents, how do they work? :( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52868) - you deserved it (3201)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

#20810887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53174) - you deserved it (3011)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:09am - money - by brokeandalone (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML

#20806809
118 comments

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML

#20805936
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58256) - you deserved it (4145)

On 07/27/2013 at 3:56am - love - by Immaculatedream (woman) - New Zealand



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: