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badassmf1234

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badassmf1234

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6437
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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badassmf1234's favorite FMLs

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

#17606704
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30651) - you deserved it (8698)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

#17602935
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (3569)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17955) - you deserved it (35637)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized my soon to be ex wife is stalking me online. Everytime I block her she creates a new profile. She left me 9 months ago. FML

#17600344
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28701) - you deserved it (2529)

On 08/28/2011 at 12:06am - love - by bubbashrek - United States

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

#17598415
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (2740)

On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

#17592588
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (2304)

On 08/27/2011 at 3:45am - health - by sad child - United States (New York)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36613) - you deserved it (2750)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after waiting 3 months, I finally got my wedding dress back from the dry-cleaners. The dry cleaning lasted longer than the marriage. FML

#17583056
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33763) - you deserved it (8907)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:28am - love - by justmyluck - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37330) - you deserved it (3280)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML

#17560241
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28493) - you deserved it (5753)

On 08/23/2011 at 5:55pm - kids - by BerzerkelyBongBabe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to switch my glass of coke with a glass of pure vinegar. FML

#17557483
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (8745)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Skidaddle123 - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML

#17557352
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34830) - you deserved it (4415)

On 08/23/2011 at 11:55am - kids - by Username - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20007) - you deserved it (41702)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

#17547358
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24516) - you deserved it (4577)

On 08/22/2011 at 11:58am - misc - by socialdisease - United States (New York)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58156) - you deserved it (7181)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)



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