Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

badassmf1234

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

badassmf1234

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6440
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

badassmf1234's page activity

Visits<b>starw0lf</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 6:01pm<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 3:24am<b>jojo69b</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 4:55am<b>roll_it_up</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 10:14pm<b>hippodamia</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 2:25pm<b>aliyyyyyah22</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 8:54am<b>bamagrl410</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 4:04am<b>Awesomeaxel</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:50pm<b>maemismile</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:57am<b>FMLIND33D</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 7:16am<b>Sawsaiuge</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 3:10am<b>Phoebe_Buffay</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:36am<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:27am<b>chrisbot5555</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:18am<b>eyesak</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:15am<b>bmackdaddy12</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:50am<b>blackphoenix0010</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:45am<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:26am

badassmf1234's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of badassmf1234's badges

badassmf1234's favorite FMLs

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51167) - you deserved it (8049)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

#18014852
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8337) - you deserved it (66989)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple seconds later and played video games instead. FML

#18012444
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37335) - you deserved it (5742)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (California)

Today, I went to a concert. I got into a fist fight with a drunk girl. My older brother tried to pull me away from her by holding both my arms back. I spent the last half of the concert in the hospital because I couldn't shield my face. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52716) - you deserved it (4882)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML

#17894679
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40035) - you deserved it (4958)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:05am - work - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

#17894609
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25954) - you deserved it (5177)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by Mike Polk - United States

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

#17893570
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (2806)

On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

#17892835
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33147) - you deserved it (5359)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML

#17892754
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25641) - you deserved it (2939)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:15am - love - by NotRussian (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you deserved it (2960)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

#17888360
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18116) - you deserved it (12837)

On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, on my way to work I swerved to avoid hitting a dead animal. Too bad I ended up hitting a live one instead. FML

#17885184
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26770) - you deserved it (7980)

On 10/02/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (9225)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30992) - you deserved it (2986)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: