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badassmf1234

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badassmf1234

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7485
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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badassmf1234's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of badassmf1234's badges

badassmf1234's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36421) - you deserved it (3730)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36110) - you deserved it (5452)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

#21311019
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (2815)

On 12/03/2014 at 9:49pm - love - by maddieex - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (3210)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

#21307548
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (3748)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm - misc - by bullah007 (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38229) - you deserved it (3156)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29235) - you deserved it (2269)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
121 comments

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

#21299716
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35958) - you deserved it (5469)

On 11/15/2014 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Slow_Walker (woman) - Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni)

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

#21298550
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32806) - you deserved it (2321)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:21pm - misc - by JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - United States (California)

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

#21292826
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30389) - you deserved it (2581)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:21pm - love - by thedudeman14 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36372) - you deserved it (2420)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally got off my lazy ass and start studying for my upcoming exam. It was going pretty well, until my classmate called and after I proudly told him about my sudden motivation, the only thing he had to say was, "You got the date wrong, the exam was on thursday." FML

#21290636
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20296) - you deserved it (23549)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:38pm - work - by demotivator (woman) - Romania (Timis)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38180) - you deserved it (10769)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter mentioned that she didn't need to work because she could convert a dollar to 13 Mexican pesos and convert it back into "13 USD", over and over again. She's 17. FML

#21290410
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35515) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:23am - kids - by wow - United States (Florida)



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