Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

backwoodsartdiva

Search for a member

backwoodsartdiva

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 January 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2863
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About backwoodsartdiva : I'm Ashley. FML and Facebook junkie. 16 years young. Talented enough artist. I love being outside. It's hard not to when you live in the middle of Northern Wisconsin. I go hunting, fishing, snowmobiling, and mudding. Got questions? Message me and ask! I don't bite hard(;

backwoodsartdiva's page activity

Visits<b>CoolFootSnook</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:45pm<b>weraru</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:19pm<b>ilovecuddling</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:21pm<b>zombiejohn</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 2:50pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 7:07pm<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 4:52pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 3:32am<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 5:13pm<b>luvbeccaxxx</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 5:21pm<b>Llamanator9913</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 2:08pm<b>max367</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 9:58am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 9:16pm<b>Issy_Marie</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 1:59pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 4:24am<b>jane00</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 9:39am<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 5:04pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:18pm<b>nela25</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 1:31pm

backwoodsartdiva's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of backwoodsartdiva's badges

backwoodsartdiva's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43590) - you deserved it (4362)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60330) - you deserved it (4459)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

#20569899
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (7265)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39997) - you deserved it (4709)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49041) - you deserved it (6491)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

#20557606
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (5467)

On 03/24/2013 at 4:59am - misc - by And I'm still single - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36345) - you deserved it (3635)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41786) - you deserved it (15694)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (50829) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43877) - you deserved it (4247)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML

#20526714
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27730) - you deserved it (4243)

On 03/01/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Headache - United States

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53688) - you deserved it (3911)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55111) - you deserved it (4426) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: