About bach2121 :
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9482) - you deserved it (35066)
On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (2347)
On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (1996)
On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30055) - you deserved it (2734)
On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39606) - you deserved it (3777)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7051) - you deserved it (21590)
On 10/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26175) - you deserved it (9962)
On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26175) - you deserved it (9962)
On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34949) - you deserved it (3306)
On 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9272) - you deserved it (37294)
On 09/17/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by nV1ous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33952) - you deserved it (501)
On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (2421)
On 09/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by CollegeFreshman (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (36974)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14556) - you deserved it (7034)
On 08/31/2009 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by sadinthesack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (6501)
On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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