About bach2121 :
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23723) - you deserved it (5126)
On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (2701)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my dad came home and said that he was so inspired by hip hop dancers on TV that he decided to take a hip hop dance class. He signed up for the class that my girlfriend teaches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26605) - you deserved it (2545)
On 07/21/2011 at 7:14am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet shih tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (2245)
On 07/18/2011 at 3:40pm - work - by StudMuffinette (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (2193)
On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25255) - you deserved it (1990)
On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11043) - you deserved it (34556)
On 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7538) - you deserved it (75700)
On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (7319)
On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35440) - you deserved it (4359)
On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21333) - you deserved it (10599)
On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (54848)
On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -
Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30552) - you deserved it (8870)
On 05/10/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Dana (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11910) - you deserved it (31637)
On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Monday 20 May 2013
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