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bac252's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
by scaredofhedges / 01/07/2013 at 5:21am / United States (California) / Transportation
by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
by stainseverywhere / 02/01/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Crashburn / 01/16/2012 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/15/2011 at 2:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by hot_shot / 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
by thunderthighs644 / 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm / Health
by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML
by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by happybudiess / 10/14/2011 at 12:30am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…