Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bac252

Search for a member

bac252

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 65
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bac252's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of bac252's badges

bac252's favorite FMLs

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40082) - you deserved it (9564)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22275) - you deserved it (6681)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11875) - you deserved it (35012)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47066) - you deserved it (4367)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32890) - you deserved it (5670)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34749) - you deserved it (14226)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

#18517273
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (24452)

On 12/15/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41252) - you deserved it (3055)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42525) - you deserved it (4461)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66443) - you deserved it (3220)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

#18321705
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (10494)

On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37992) - you deserved it (31002)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37261) - you deserved it (7464)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32853) - you deserved it (10771)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

#17979790
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17977) - you deserved it (49170)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by happybudiess - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: