Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

babyhands579

Search for a member

babyhands579

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 58
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About babyhands579 : I'm a girl who loves to have fun. I love partying, being with my girl, and having fun with my friends. :) Want to know more let me know.

babyhands579's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

babyhands579's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (2232)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML

#19998464
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12329) - you deserved it (18809)

On 08/02/2012 at 1:32pm - misc - by purplexangel (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27872) - you deserved it (2944)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11390) - you deserved it (39216)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15841) - you deserved it (25215)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

#19900187
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40682) - you deserved it (4186)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33058) - you deserved it (4783)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6456) - you deserved it (46324)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26659) - you deserved it (3077)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

#19812575
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31052) - you deserved it (2993)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (5823)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31680) - you deserved it (3037)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

#16003587
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38208) - you deserved it (3924)

On 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

#14931650
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (3978)

On 02/11/2011 at 2:04am - health - by Eres (woman) - United States (Alabama)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: