babyhands579

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babyhands579

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 127
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About babyhands579 : I'm a girl who loves to have fun. I love partying, being with my girl, and having fun with my friends. :) Want to know more let me know.

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babyhands579's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

by DamnTornadoAlley / 08/30/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML

by purplexangel / 08/02/2012 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

by memphis201 / 07/26/2012 at 1:20pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

by Luna / 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

by oops123 / 07/16/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Kids

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

by wife of a shithead / 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm / Intimacy

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 1:44am / United States / Health

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

by tubby / 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm / Sweden (Blekinge Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

by theunborn / 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Intimacy

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

by Bishop / 06/06/2012 at 10:19am / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

by laury / 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

by Eres / 02/11/2011 at 2:04am / United States (Alabama) / Health