Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

azhein

Search for a member

azhein

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 January 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2727
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

azhein's page activity

Visits<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:09am<b>blcusername</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:32am<b>Santiago1222</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:33pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:19am<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:58pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 10:29am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:40pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 10:51am<b>kilullu</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:35am<b>ziam</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 5:50pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 9:27am<b>thenameisfatma</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 1:48am<b>ccameron</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 10:28am<b>Think_Of_Him</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:05pm<b>tigerfish</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 2:39pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 11:07pm<b>ThatFancyPenn</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 6:44am<b>LtBoom</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 6:19am

azhein's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

azhein's favorite FMLs

Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML

#4363957
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30179) - you deserved it (21579)

On 08/07/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by terpity12 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

#3971516
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50952) - you deserved it (3914)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - kids - by bbbkingsey (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42765) - you deserved it (27749)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38549) - you deserved it (3944)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50589) - you deserved it (18103)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML

#1470425
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (10002)

On 04/29/2009 at 8:14pm - misc - by BrandNewKadillak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35475) - you deserved it (92779)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

#879478
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65132) - you deserved it (8520)

On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

#719955
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68814) - you deserved it (4353)

On 03/31/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by Krissy. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on forever asked me why the pin on my Letterman jacket had two guys doing it. I told her it was for participating in a wrestling tournament. And she responded, "Oh I thought you were finally coming out of the closet!" FML

#703892
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58525) - you deserved it (6271)

On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by Seanzy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134279) - you deserved it (20198)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45488) - you deserved it (2281)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: