azhein

Search for a member

azhein

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 January 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3386
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

azhein's page activity

Visits<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 5:44am<b>lexivance</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 10:56pm<b>MoeLester123</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 10:15pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:30am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:12pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:20am<b>sulvan182</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:56pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:33pm<b>DemHaxBro</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 11:11am<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:51pm<b>fk18</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 1:20am<b>finegirl1</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:48pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 9:26am<b>GEFStryker</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 7:47am<b>FoTheWin</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:49pm<b>bigsexy85</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:41pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:09am<b>blcusername</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:32am

azhein's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

azhein's favorite FMLs

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me for over five months, including while I was deployed to Afghanistan. FML

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

by huj / 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

by Haley. / 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML

by ouch... / 03/03/2010 at 6:13am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

by Silent / 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

by SoVeryMonday / 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

by usmcgirl / 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A minus. All she said was "oh well, at least you tried your best". FML

by fuck_thisshit / 11/09/2009 at 5:27am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

by SucksToBeMe / 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm / United States (Nevada) / Work