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azeriox

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azeriox

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  • Number of visits : 52
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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azeriox's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

#20113138
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (3146)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:15am - love - by anonymous2.0 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26529) - you deserved it (3078)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33310) - you deserved it (3459)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (2555)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23239) - you deserved it (1721)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27006) - you deserved it (6946)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

#20103277
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12815) - you deserved it (29604)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML

#14070103
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31143) - you deserved it (8819)

On 12/03/2010 at 9:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

#6034083
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27206) - you deserved it (2750)

On 10/28/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by bubblensuds1 - United States (Indiana)



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