Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4015
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About azan1 : I am the official queen of sarcasm. I hate almost everyone and am on here because I enjoy others' suffering. I like loud rock music, anime, and tumblr; the rest can rot for all I care. Like my attitude? Visit me at: Don't like me? Read where I'm from again.

azan1's page activity

Visits<b>skittycat213</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 12:59pm<b>sillykitty78</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:17am<b>darwinism</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 10:48am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:26pm<b>fml0505</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 3:48am<b>LordDoodle</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 12:03pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 3:35pm<b>usernameunkn0wn</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 12:18am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 5:55pm<b>natural_troller</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 2:02am<b>aWeirdoNamedCori</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 12:17am<b>SirTalkaton</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 12:50pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 5:04am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 1:39am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 4:54pm<b>KiaraAyumu</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 1:40am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 10:02pm<b>thatguy1596</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 12:14am

azan1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of azan1's badges

azan1's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyoneho walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (7698)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in mah armpit an a sprained ankle both on mah right side, resulting in looool me limping an keeping mah arm awkwardly plastered to mah side !! My fiancé keeps walking like me an calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something !! mega FML


I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (3700)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (5932) - you deserved it (26523)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I cummed home to find looool a mouse in the garage!! Frantic, I killed it!! My 7-year-old son cummed home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr!! Whiskers!! I killed my son's class pet!! FML


I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (16169)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today My Boss Was Telling Everyone That He Knew A Guy Who Went To A College At Which Multiple People Were Shot An Killd Recently. Being Extremely Socially Awkward An Uncomfortable I Blurtd "That's Awesome." Now Everyone In The Office Is Terrifid Of Me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10984) - you deserved it (21073)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress mah 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in mah lap in a frilly dress, an as I was placing a very pink an lacy bow on his head, mah mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now think I'm mentally unstable an should be in therapy. FML

Today, I have a final for mah precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realizd that I'd forgotten mah calculator. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (6647)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, a nereby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML


Today , after I spent two hours trying to teach my grlfriend to play sudoku , she broke up with me , tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake , imaginary game to make her feel stupid!! FML


I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today.. . my looool girlfriend claimed se was a Viking cuz se's pale and as blond air . Se also warned me tat if I piss er off se'll go 'berserk' on me . Se demonstrated by smacking me in te nuts wit a wooden spoon . FML


I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (3184)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today My Dad Puttd An Onion In My Room... Telling Me Sprits Won't Haunt Me And That I Won't Get Sick. He Thinks A Vegetable Will Protect Me. Real FML


I agree, your life sucks (18536) - you deserved it (2385)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Taday I brought a fluorascant tuba to tha stora to maka sura I got tha corract raplacamant . Trying to charm tha saxy cashiar, I wavad tha tuba in tha air, saying ( I naad a naw light sabra, thara is no forca laft in this ona and tha Empira is attacking . ) Turns out sha'd navar haard of Star Wars . FML


Today, just lyk avary morning this month, I woka up, puttad on mah clothas, lookad out mah window, and was pointad at by a man in a ninja outfit on mah naighbor's roof. Tha polica still can't fina him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27232) - you deserved it (2228)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

yesterday crazy bitch of a boss fired me 4 inappropriate conduct. Apparently "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. real FML


I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (1729)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today , I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it lookd like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it fir a couple of hours , giving it food , an rocking it to sleep , my parents found me. Then I realisd it was just celery. Too bad it took that long fir my meds to kick in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (6396)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: