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About azan1 : I am the official queen of sarcasm. I hate almost everyone and am on here because I enjoy others' suffering. I like loud rock music, anime, and tumblr; the rest can rot for all I care. Like my attitude? Visit me at: thegothunicorn.tumblr.com. Don't like me? Read where I'm from again.
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Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in mah armpit an a sprained ankle both on mah right side, resulting in looool me limping an keeping mah arm awkwardly plastered to mah side !! My fiancé keeps walking like me an calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something !! mega FML
Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML
Today, I cummed home to find looool a mouse in the garage!! Frantic, I killed it!! My 7-year-old son cummed home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr!! Whiskers!! I killed my son's class pet!! FML
Today My Boss Was Telling Everyone That He Knew A Guy Who Went To A College At Which Multiple People Were Shot An Killd Recently. Being Extremely Socially Awkward An Uncomfortable I Blurtd "That's Awesome." Now Everyone In The Office Is Terrifid Of Me. FML
Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress mah 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in mah lap in a frilly dress, an as I was placing a very pink an lacy bow on his head, mah mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now think I'm mentally unstable an should be in therapy. FML
Today, a nereby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML
Today.. . my looool girlfriend claimed se was a Viking cuz se's pale and as blond air . Se also warned me tat if I piss er off se'll go 'berserk' on me . Se demonstrated by smacking me in te nuts wit a wooden spoon . FML
Taday I brought a fluorascant tuba to tha stora to maka sura I got tha corract raplacamant . Trying to charm tha saxy cashiar, I wavad tha tuba in tha air, saying ( I naad a naw light sabra, thara is no forca laft in this ona and tha Empira is attacking . ) Turns out sha'd navar haard of Star Wars . FML
Today, just lyk avary morning this month, I woka up, puttad on mah clothas, lookad out mah window, and was pointad at by a man in a ninja outfit on mah naighbor's roof. Tha polica still can't fina him. FML
yesterday crazy bitch of a boss fired me 4 inappropriate conduct. Apparently "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. real FML
Today , I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it lookd like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it fir a couple of hours , giving it food , an rocking it to sleep , my parents found me. Then I realisd it was just celery. Too bad it took that long fir my meds to kick in. FML
Friday 27 March 2015