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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5195
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About azan1 : I am the official queen of sarcasm. I hate almost everyone and am on here because I enjoy others' suffering. I like loud rock music, anime, and tumblr; the rest can rot for all I care. Like my attitude? Visit me at: Don't like me? Read where I'm from again.

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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azan1's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (7922)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32331) - you deserved it (3897)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (6889) - you deserved it (29336)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (17329)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12605) - you deserved it (23473)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24165) - you deserved it (7218)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML


Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34394) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24808) - you deserved it (3322)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (2553)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML


Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31383) - you deserved it (2580)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34352) - you deserved it (1867)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (6957)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

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