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azamanees

Offline (the 01/01/2014 at 11:20pm) | Search for a member

azamanees

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  • Number of visits : 333
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>almostfree_kira</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:30pm<b>ALlamaOnFire</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:33pm<b>flux_panic</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Rajni_dev</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 10:36am<b>JustClaire95</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 10:39am<b>GreenIsGold22</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:42am

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azamanees's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43546) - you deserved it (4978)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42085) - you deserved it (8561)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54342) - you deserved it (25370)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49715) - you deserved it (9944)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

#21121714
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41164) - you deserved it (4751)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:32am - work - by me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48808) - you deserved it (12965)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48332) - you deserved it (7046)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (53795)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46985) - you deserved it (18136)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56128) - you deserved it (7835)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich, whereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42273) - you deserved it (5191)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42280) - you deserved it (5540)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19422) - you deserved it (44851)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)



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