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azaelgza98

Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 1:06am) | Search for a member

azaelgza98

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  • Number of visits : 258
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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azaelgza98's page activity

Visits<b>sensfan91</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:05am

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azaelgza98's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38130) - you deserved it (3148)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

#21301400
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42315) - you deserved it (3519)

On 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by steak through the heart - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29113) - you deserved it (3341)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36717) - you deserved it (4080)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50135) - you deserved it (8408)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42858) - you deserved it (5115)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48090) - you deserved it (4884)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59148) - you deserved it (4566)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47021) - you deserved it (4030)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

#21134831
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46983) - you deserved it (4313)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by WTTFFFF (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48735) - you deserved it (16299)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML



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