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az1992

Offline (the 06/07/2015 at 1:08am) | Search for a member

az1992

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1200
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About az1992 : "The mountains are calling and I must go" -John Muir

az1992's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:40am<b>quickfingers100</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:45am<b>travismassie</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 2:17am<b>2011shadow85</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:04pm<b>AlexRen</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 9:26am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:17am<b>PassiveAggresive</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:39am<b>xBrooke_Lynnx</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:56am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:08am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:58pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 7:07pm<b>kirstenburke</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:48pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:05pm<b>Black_Ink</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:08pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:49am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:21am<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:10am<b>terryaly</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:07am

az1992's FML badges

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az1992's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26438) - you deserved it (7676)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43795) - you deserved it (6285)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40531) - you deserved it (5316)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50153) - you deserved it (28332)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53335) - you deserved it (14928)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47006) - you deserved it (3301)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55576) - you deserved it (10002)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46352) - you deserved it (4267)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54805) - you deserved it (5725)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, my dog got out of the house. I was running after him and remembered the old "pretend you're hurt" trick. I got on the ground, and cried out as if I was hurt. My dog just kept running. FML

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45360) - you deserved it (3368)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (38507)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

#20895380
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37708) - you deserved it (3738)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52188) - you deserved it (3323)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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