ayumi

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ayumi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 28905
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ayumi's page activity

Visits<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 1:09pm<b>malakaboy</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 9:43pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 5:10pm<b>ibabyd0llaz</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 4:17pm<b>Ebisumaru</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 9:58am<b>wideh2ogirl</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 7:34am<b>badluckbetty13</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 1:10am<b>Jlau521</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 12:21am<b>danid1013</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 11:37pm<b>djsubdu3</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 9:25pm<b>onna</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 7:46pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 4:07am

ayumi's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ayumi's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

by yuckspider / 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

by guessimdead / 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

by scarletdurose88 / 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

by pinkblankets / 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

by jules / 04/17/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

by chriss / 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

by italy1986 / 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

by anonymiss / 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

by whoops / 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation