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ayumi

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ayumi
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 25162
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ayumi's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60027) - you deserved it (3273)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my husband was leaving on a long business trip to Germany. As he's leaving, my daughter starts crying. 'Dont leave me with her !' she says. 'Take me with you !' FML

#2104254
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46011) - you deserved it (7940)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60807) - you deserved it (3349)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

#2078869
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14409) - you deserved it (52350)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)

Today, while going for a run in my neighbourhood I was hit by a car not once, but twice. The second car, closely following the first, stopped and then drove forward to see if I was all right. FML

#2071358
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43936) - you deserved it (2621)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:17am - health - by OUCH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69086) - you deserved it (2993)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28759) - you deserved it (133760)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

#1971968
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43846) - you deserved it (3356)

On 05/16/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by notacreep (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

#1949482
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53827) - you deserved it (3118)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (38729)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55584) - you deserved it (6605)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (397940) - you deserved it (52931)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)



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