ayumi

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ayumi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 28922
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ayumi's page activity

Visits<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 1:09pm<b>malakaboy</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 9:43pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 5:10pm<b>ibabyd0llaz</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 4:17pm<b>Ebisumaru</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 9:58am<b>wideh2ogirl</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 7:34am<b>badluckbetty13</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 1:10am<b>Jlau521</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 12:21am<b>danid1013</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 11:37pm<b>djsubdu3</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 9:25pm<b>onna</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 7:46pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 4:07am

ayumi's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ayumi's favorite FMLs

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

by prostate / 06/08/2009 at 9:48am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 6:41am / Singapore / Love

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

by Jon / 06/07/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

by Higgs / 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

by Ariel / 06/02/2009 at 8:19am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

by alexis89 / 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I weighed myself for the first time in a while and confirmed that I have put on a few pounds. I was feeling a bit down about it. I went to work and on arriving a workmate I hadn't seen in a while gave me a hug. She said, 'I love hugging you, you're so nice and squishy.' FML

by squishyboy / 05/26/2009 at 4:23am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health

Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML

by boyo / 05/21/2009 at 5:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

by verycre8tive / 05/21/2009 at 3:31am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (New York) / Animals