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ayumi

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ayumi
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  • Number of visits : 25150
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328804) - you deserved it (35684)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26248) - you deserved it (99365)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13728) - you deserved it (63268)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41578) - you deserved it (7812)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



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