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ayolittleman

Offline (the 05/24/2015 at 9:02am) | Search for a member

ayolittleman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 154
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ayolittleman's page activity

Visits<b>SnazzyPotter</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 1:42am

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ayolittleman's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11908) - you deserved it (41344)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

#21410853
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28952) - you deserved it (2728)

On 05/16/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (2348)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

#21409743
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14185) - you deserved it (30263)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (2675)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

#21405053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34420) - you deserved it (2782)

On 05/05/2015 at 10:44am - love - by inheritance (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

#21398409
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27174) - you deserved it (8018)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by almost_a_pro - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school's 6'8", 275-pound, blond quarterback isn't standing behind you. FML

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41340) - you deserved it (2818)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32038) - you deserved it (4913)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

#21391926
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31757) - you deserved it (9549)

On 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

#21391724
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (16927)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:34am - health - by jamisbetter - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (16627)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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