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awkwardology

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awkwardology
  • Town/Country : H O G W A R T S
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 475
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About awkwardology : Hillo, fellow profile creeper! I'm Evelyn and (probably much like you) I love reading others' terrible misfortunes and either laughing derisively at their stupidity OR giving them a virtual hug to compensate for the fact that the Universe is trying to kill them with humiliation and dental floss.
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awkwardology's favorite FMLs

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39669) - you deserved it (3522)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (2565)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34478) - you deserved it (6526)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33785) - you deserved it (3606)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

#21116013
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32728) - you deserved it (10246)

On 04/18/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Fatass - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46692) - you deserved it (6265)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42897) - you deserved it (3912)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54141) - you deserved it (5406)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43105) - you deserved it (4322)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44861) - you deserved it (11664)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42428) - you deserved it (21682)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37379) - you deserved it (3444)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35005) - you deserved it (2824)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I went to get a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51995) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)



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