awkwardmess

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Offline (the 04/29/2016 at 10:34pm)

awkwardmess

15Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 November 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2785
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About awkwardmess : Hey, I'm Santana
I'm most likely binge watching tv shows and being on tumblr
I'm 16
I love mythology, especially japanese and egyptian
My heart belongs in Gryffindor
Hobbies include playing video games, reading, painting, drawing and singing
Love listening to a variety of music genres, but my favorites are indie, rock, techno and electro
I'm not really interesting tbh

awkwardmess's page activity

Visits<b>dextrementor</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:26am<b>Stephc3213</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:37pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 3:01am<b>killer0689</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:14pm<b>JustCauseRalph</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:55am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 2:38am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:10am<b>DogeDogeDoge</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:15pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 7:46pm<b>shadesofcool</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:00pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:36pm<b>ronenlior</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:44pm<b>brandonwong</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:43pm<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 9:33pm<b>AK7186</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 9:48pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:06am<b>monty_money_</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 10:52pm<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:03pm

Fucked!<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 7:10am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:42am<b>ronenlior</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 2:40pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:13am<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:26am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:38pm<b>monty_money_</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:28pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:10pm<b>Kevin_angel</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:06pm<b>chandler88</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:05am<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:31am<b>somthingstupd</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:31am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:58pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:18am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:54pm

awkwardmess's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of awkwardmess's badges

awkwardmess's favorite FMLs

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2015 at 10:48am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad why the Wi-fi was down. He just replied, "Why? Horno can't get no more porno?" No, "Horno" has an assignment. WTF? FML

by horno / 12/02/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2015 at 11:09am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my life became a lot more depressing. A while ago, some friends and I founded a "Forever Alone" club, because all of us were single at that time. I'm now the only member left. FML

by Lena / 10/18/2015 at 1:06pm / Germany / Love

Today, I tried to make a move on the cute guy who sits opposite me at work. In theory, I was going to start a game of footsie with him. In practice, I screwed up and managed to yank his computer's power cable out. He lost his unsaved work. FML

by Namaslayed / 10/16/2015 at 2:04pm / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 4:39am / Australia / Love

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2015 at 3:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML

by lobotomy pls / 09/11/2015 at 2:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I started my period. Every time I try to open a tampon, my dog goes crazy thinking it's one of his treats. Now I have to open them with my hair dryer on. FML

by nah / 09/09/2015 at 3:55pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, the girl I've gone on two dates with showed up at my house with several boxes of her stuff, expecting to move in. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 1:38am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

by Alan / 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML

by Mrs. W. / 08/10/2015 at 8:32pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous