Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 November 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2052
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About awkwardmess : Hey, I'm Santana
I'm most likely binge watching tv shows and being on tumblr
I'm 16
I love mythology, especially japanese and egyptian
My heart belongs in Gryffindor
Hobbies include playing video games, reading, painting, drawing and singing
Love listening to a variety of music genres, but my favorites are indie, rock, techno and electro
I'm not really interesting tbh

awkwardmess's page activity

Visits<b>Stephc3213</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:37pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 3:01am<b>killer0689</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:14pm<b>JustCauseRalph</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:55am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 2:38am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:10am<b>DogeDogeDoge</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:15pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 7:46pm<b>shadesofcool</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:00pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:36pm<b>ronenlior</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:44pm<b>brandonwong</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:43pm<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 9:33pm<b>AK7186</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 9:48pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:06am<b>monty_money_</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 10:52pm<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:03pm<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 1:12pm

Fucked!<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 7:10am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:42am<b>ronenlior</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 2:40pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:13am<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:26am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:38pm<b>monty_money_</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:28pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:10pm<b>Kevin_angel</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:06pm<b>chandler88</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:05am<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:31am<b>somthingstupd</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:31am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:58pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:18am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:54pm

awkwardmess's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of awkwardmess's badges

awkwardmess's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20644) - you deserved it (1583)

On 10/06/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28069) - you deserved it (2841)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23299) - you deserved it (3609)

On 09/11/2015 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by lobotomy pls (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I started my period. Every time I try to open a tampon, my dog goes crazy thinking it's one of his treats. Now I have to open them with my hair dryer on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (2625)

On 09/09/2015 at 3:55pm - animals - by nah - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl I've gone on two dates with showed up at my house with several boxes of her stuff, expecting to move in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29984) - you deserved it (2376)

On 09/06/2015 at 1:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22400) - you deserved it (2241)

On 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm - misc - by Alan (man) - Germany

Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML


I agree, your life sucks (23144) - you deserved it (2171)

On 08/10/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by Mrs. W. (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18071) - you deserved it (29163)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26658) - you deserved it (3228)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33852) - you deserved it (2476)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (3671)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26334) - you deserved it (4610)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML


I agree, your life sucks (32655) - you deserved it (3936)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27628) - you deserved it (9208)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (4907)

On 05/10/2015 at 9:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: