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awkwardmess

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awkwardmess

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 November 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1601
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About awkwardmess : Hey, I'm valentina and I spend waaay more time on this site than I should.

awkwardmess's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Liv123456789</b> - 7 hours ago<b>stryder9090</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Codezlol</b> - 7 hours ago<b>teapotrevolt</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Jake42100</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 5:09pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 12:50pm<b>fml254</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 12:33pm<b>AKF80</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:01am<b>python199</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 7:13am<b>braver7315</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:45pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 9:42pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 9:31pm<b>lifeisstrange84</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:00am<b>nreed32</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm<b>int15</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Medhi</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:44am

Fucked!<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:31am<b>somthingstupd</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:31am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:58pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:18am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:54pm

awkwardmess's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of awkwardmess's badges

awkwardmess's favorite FMLs

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

#21434600
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16654) - you deserved it (2727)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30149) - you deserved it (3295)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26672) - you deserved it (8712)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

#21407700
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28446) - you deserved it (4527)

On 05/10/2015 at 9:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

#21378741
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31537) - you deserved it (1988)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML

#21378703
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (9349)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:25am - love - by rayraydayday - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

#21368886
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35797) - you deserved it (2414)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I have been at my new job for almost a month and still have no idea what I'm doing. FML

#21367094
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26321) - you deserved it (10181)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:15am - work - by soconfused (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30448) - you deserved it (3295)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29795) - you deserved it (2489)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (209) - you deserved it (31827)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

#21355268
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27974) - you deserved it (7152)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

#21354210
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33201) - you deserved it (6083)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

#21353961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34738) - you deserved it (3123)

On 02/11/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by TJFuentes (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML



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