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awkwardmess

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awkwardmess

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 November 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 749
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About awkwardmess : Hey, I'm valentina and I spend waaay more time on this site than I should.

awkwardmess's page activity

Visits<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:54am<b>lild343</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:14am<b>diving</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:05pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:23am<b>A07</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:50am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:22pm<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:22pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:16pm<b>Medhi</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 3:52am<b>heffastera</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:20am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:02pm<b>PCJJacket</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:31pm<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:17pm<b>ashleylove0525</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:23am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:50am<b>jamienicole1993</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:39pm<b>Heebs62</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:36pm

Liked!<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:31am<b>somthingstupd</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:31am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:58pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:18am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:54pm

awkwardmess's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of awkwardmess's badges

awkwardmess's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

#21336365
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33779) - you deserved it (2835)

On 01/13/2015 at 11:25am - love - by can't win - Australia

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, I was waiting in line while a lady paid for her shopping, when her credit card got declined. She started ranting and insulting everyone and kept insisting: "I'm not poor!" By the time the lady had finally stormed off, I had spittle on my face, and the cashier was almost in tears. FML

#21325473
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29347) - you deserved it (2148)

On 12/27/2014 at 7:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

#21320202
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (5853)

On 12/19/2014 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

#21319659
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31876) - you deserved it (3106)

On 12/18/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML

#21308187
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28897) - you deserved it (3156)

On 11/29/2014 at 2:45pm - work - by gotta euthanize em all (man) - Canada

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38036) - you deserved it (2893)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (3275)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I compared our No Shave November body hair. This is how I found out that my legs are hairier than his. FML

#21299788
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27111) - you deserved it (6941)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34756) - you deserved it (4945)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (10765)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

#21288954
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (2455)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by kimmykins27 (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32318) - you deserved it (3412)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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