Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

awkwardmess

Offline (12 minutes ago) | Search for a member

awkwardmess

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 November 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 933
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About awkwardmess : Hey, I'm valentina and I spend waaay more time on this site than I should.

awkwardmess's page activity

Visits<b>lifeisstrange84</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:00am<b>nreed32</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm<b>int15</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Medhi</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:44am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:54am<b>lild343</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:14am<b>diving</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:05pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:23am<b>A07</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:50am<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:22pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:16pm<b>heffastera</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:20am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:02pm<b>PCJJacket</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:31pm<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:17pm<b>ashleylove0525</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:23am

Liked!<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:31am<b>somthingstupd</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:31am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:58pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:18am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:54pm

awkwardmess's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of awkwardmess's badges

awkwardmess's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (1930)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (2276)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16747) - you deserved it (28791)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

#21355268
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27381) - you deserved it (7015)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

#21354210
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32757) - you deserved it (6058)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

#21353961
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34386) - you deserved it (3106)

On 02/11/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by TJFuentes (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14580) - you deserved it (38090)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML

#21347237
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (10059)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:13am - kids - by cooploops - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29222) - you deserved it (3321)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

#21336365
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34718) - you deserved it (2847)

On 01/13/2015 at 11:25am - love - by can't win - Australia

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, I was waiting in line while a lady paid for her shopping, when her credit card got declined. She started ranting and insulting everyone and kept insisting: "I'm not poor!" By the time the lady had finally stormed off, I had spittle on my face, and the cashier was almost in tears. FML

#21325473
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29430) - you deserved it (2148)

On 12/27/2014 at 7:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

#21320202
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29673) - you deserved it (5863)

On 12/19/2014 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: