Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

awkwardmess

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

awkwardmess

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 November 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 455
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About awkwardmess : Hey, I'm valentina and I spend waaay more time on this site than I should.

awkwardmess's page activity

Visits<b>lild343</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:14am<b>diving</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:05pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:23am<b>A07</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:50am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:22pm<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:22pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:16pm<b>Medhi</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 3:52am<b>heffastera</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:20am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:02pm<b>PCJJacket</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:31pm<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:17pm<b>ashleylove0525</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:23am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:50am<b>jamienicole1993</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:39pm<b>Heebs62</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:36pm<b>leo_ost</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:58pm

Liked!<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:31am<b>somthingstupd</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:31am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:58pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:18am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:54pm

awkwardmess's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of awkwardmess's badges

awkwardmess's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (2340)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (3244)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I compared our No Shave November body hair. This is how I found out that my legs are hairier than his. FML

#21299788
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (6870)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33333) - you deserved it (4894)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36322) - you deserved it (9943)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

#21288954
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31935) - you deserved it (2444)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by kimmykins27 (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31469) - you deserved it (3129)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

#21285397
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30816) - you deserved it (2034)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37844) - you deserved it (9982)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33730) - you deserved it (5104)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

#21258420
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34805) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50677) - you deserved it (9738)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: