About awkwardaardvark2 : I dance crazed teen who cant hold back the awkward moments.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
awkwardaardvark2's favorite FMLs
Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML
by sleepy momma / 06/02/2013 at 2:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML
by astalkerindeed / 05/16/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Money
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML
by sarahhbear / 11/17/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Katie / 10/09/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
by ohhhemmgee / 09/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by Sarah / 08/17/2012 at 3:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML
by SwAGkiLlS / 07/15/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 6:32am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 02/25/2012 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
by foxyreegan / 02/04/2012 at 12:22am / United States (North Carolina) / Health