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awkwaard

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awkwaard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About awkwaard : Just an English girl living in America. Not much to tell.

awkwaard's page activity

Visits<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:40pm<b>Fuji76</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 8:46am

awkwaard's FML badges

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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awkwaard's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57576) - you deserved it (6016)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45122) - you deserved it (5171)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML

#20920258
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42013) - you deserved it (6391)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:32pm - health - by soccer_bball (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54802) - you deserved it (4578)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65652) - you deserved it (18718)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

#20686826
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18003) - you deserved it (45830)

On 05/26/2013 at 2:46am - work - by ChangoFett - United States (California)

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73424) - you deserved it (6540)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

#20631493
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43015) - you deserved it (3278)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44923) - you deserved it (3521)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

#19867742
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22521) - you deserved it (2682)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

#19296318
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23744) - you deserved it (2403)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24476) - you deserved it (2584)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45851) - you deserved it (2820)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7834) - you deserved it (60620)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36297) - you deserved it (3121)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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