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awkotaco333

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awkotaco333

37Liked!

awkotaco333awkotaco333
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 364
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About awkotaco333 : Potterhead ⚡️
🎶hooligan💘

awkotaco333's page activity

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awkotaco333's FML badges

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awkotaco333's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

#21317613
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29294) - you deserved it (5156)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm - love - by lonesome - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (3610)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (3831)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32677) - you deserved it (2476)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML

#21313490
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (2715)

On 12/07/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37910) - you deserved it (2882)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32317) - you deserved it (3749)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28449) - you deserved it (3264)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44025) - you deserved it (3848)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37566) - you deserved it (4668)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

#21191661
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (4155)

On 06/28/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51754) - you deserved it (6630)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45504) - you deserved it (5108)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56106) - you deserved it (4431)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48736) - you deserved it (16299)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



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