Just a high class lady thirsting for adventure and the perusal of fucked up lives.
Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8294) - you totally deserved it (18124)
On 11/25/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by TinyDancer22 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4461) - you totally deserved it (15236)
On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4118) - you totally deserved it (26218)
On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (69360) - you totally deserved it (12247)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML
I agree, your life sucks (14569) - you totally deserved it (55058)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75637) - you totally deserved it (4597)
On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14986) - you totally deserved it (79827)
On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I was ringing in a customer I noticed that the Febreeze spray can was wet. Noticing this I sniffed my hands because they had gotten wet and said to the customer, "Oh the can is leaking want to go get another one?" He then said, "No it's OK, I just sweat a lot." I sniffed some customer's sweat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34775) - you totally deserved it (3143)
On 04/22/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46217) - you totally deserved it (2296)
On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my mother has another new boyfriend. She told me she wanted me to meet him, and I reluctantly agreed. When I walked out to meet him in the living room, to my surprise, I knew him. He's 18, my mother is 44. He also happens to be in my second period high school math class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (144858) - you totally deserved it (4210)
On 03/01/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (385017) - you totally deserved it (67450)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I wanted to have a good lunch with my wife before fasting for my surgery which I may not survive, she decided getting her hair cut was more important. I ate alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (374911) - you totally deserved it (15706)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:41pm - love - by Still here (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found a bone in my sandwich. It was a veggie burger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27571) - you totally deserved it (4272)
On 02/13/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by veggiegal (woman) - United States (Vermont)
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