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awesomeforever

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  • Number of visits : 414
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awesomeforever's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

awesomeforever's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML

#12849732
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36597) - you deserved it (3828)

On 09/01/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Jill Shanks - United States

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (3066)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

#11412835
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34415) - you deserved it (2882)

On 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm - misc - by hurricane0331 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (4573)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML

#6998610
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25553) - you deserved it (2686)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

#6968150
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28664) - you deserved it (3594)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44161) - you deserved it (6793)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55717) - you deserved it (8562)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a man from across the bar looked at me, pointed and said "MMMM, now THAT'S what I want." Offended, I confronted him to tell him I felt disrespected by him referring to me as 'that.' Turns out, he was pointing to the cheeseburger that the waitress behind me was holding. FML

#3207730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7839) - you deserved it (47992)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118746) - you deserved it (73829)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

#1976392
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44530) - you deserved it (8757)

On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

#491409
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128783) - you deserved it (6286)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by Cindy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebees for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked "How was it?" he says "It was terrible", to which I said "The food was that bad?" He replies "No, the sex". FML

#431427
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82879) - you deserved it (12454)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by JC12345 (woman) - United States

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

#159579
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50213) - you deserved it (5090)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:52am - misc - by Judiee (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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