awesomeforever

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awesomeforever

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1059
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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awesomeforever's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

awesomeforever's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

by I'maboutobarf / 01/31/2013 at 5:28am / Australia / Health

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

by all by myself / 12/25/2012 at 12:00am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

by what.....? / 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that when you hear a bump in the night, it's best not to check your parents' room. Some things cannot be unseen. FML

by alyssabree42 / 08/04/2012 at 2:56am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

by ouch / 06/14/2012 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

by GetHardOrGoHome / 03/31/2012 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML

by Jeathrow / 02/16/2012 at 10:01am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

by annon / 02/11/2012 at 1:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love