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Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15142) - you deserved it (25506)
On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35607) - you deserved it (3338)
On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States
Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29104) - you deserved it (6232)
On 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25426) - you deserved it (8136)
On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35815) - you deserved it (4836)
On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27953) - you deserved it (2622)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (6125)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8460) - you deserved it (25730)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28725) - you deserved it (3219)
On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19827) - you deserved it (8929)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14700) - you deserved it (2191)
On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11665) - you deserved it (1064)
On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States
Today, I learned that when you hear a bump in the night, it's best not to check your parents' room. Some things cannot be unseen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10924) - you deserved it (12619)
On 08/04/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by alyssabree42 - United States (Oregon)
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19590) - you deserved it (1524)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50793) - you deserved it (3669)
On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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