Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

awesome_epicness

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

awesome_epicness

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2857
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

awesome_epicness's page activity

Visits<b>Benji5155</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:23am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 5:37pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 5:31pm<b>jettybo</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 2:41am<b>boostedc</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:05pm<b>stilysm</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 2:10am<b>AirborneCleric</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 2:18pm<b>PopPunkNotPills</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 6:52pm<b>crzyknt</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:47am<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 9:41am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:10pm<b>lonelycatlady</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 1:13pm<b>zombieslayer83</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 3:42pm<b>Awsumuzzie</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 11:26am

awesome_epicness's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of awesome_epicness's badges

awesome_epicness's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17507) - you deserved it (3728)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28789) - you deserved it (2509)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35623) - you deserved it (4139)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45515) - you deserved it (8861)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37415) - you deserved it (3340)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37997) - you deserved it (4508)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62222) - you deserved it (4091)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41360) - you deserved it (15322)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39572) - you deserved it (4241)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37712) - you deserved it (23118)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35778) - you deserved it (3089)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (51118)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48935) - you deserved it (21185)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39116) - you deserved it (4345)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: