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awesome64760's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
awesome64760's favorite FMLs
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Anonytard / 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Parusu / 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML
by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by dumbwifehappylife / 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
by FUUUUCK / 02/11/2014 at 3:00pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/11/2014 at 11:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by alii2349 / 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML
by elizabethkalyn / 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
by Shooting myself / 02/10/2014 at 1:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/10/2014 at 10:40am / United States / Miscellaneous
by aarong / 02/10/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML
by deargodthepain / 02/02/2014 at 11:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML
by ShelterForTheHomless / 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Teiu88 / 10/20/2013 at 10:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
- Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut… Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them… Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse…