awesome2712

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Offline (the 03/11/2015 at 5:33am)

awesome2712

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 238
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About awesome2712 : CTFxC FTW!

awesome2712's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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awesome2712's favorite FMLs

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML

by Username / 07/01/2011 at 9:05am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2011 at 4:39pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

by beekeke45 / 06/25/2011 at 9:39am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

by screwed / 06/18/2011 at 4:51am / United States / Love

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

by loneliness / 12/30/2010 at 12:48am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

by sarah / 07/14/2010 at 12:32am / United States / Health

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is getting engaged. He broke up with me five months ago because our relationship was too serious for him. FML

by anonymous / 03/07/2010 at 2:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

by OhaiiKid / 03/07/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Georgia) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation