awaywiththefairi

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awaywiththefairi

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 519
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About awaywiththefairi : I'm not perfect and I don't pretend to be.
I'm strange and weird and sometimes I find myself hilarious, actually, I am REALLY hilarious...
I like to talk to myself and I like my cat.

I hate ketchup and olives.
Ewww!
And auto correct...

New to this and new on twitter
Follow me @shauna_murphy

awaywiththefairi's page activity

Visits<b>sizzlemcfizzle</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 7:12pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 9:46pm<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 6:58am<b>turdwrangler</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 5:56pm<b>amyfann</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:11am<b>isaac_newton</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:28pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 10:43am<b>goodvsevil1275</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:59pm<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 7:25am<b>zuvi9</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:43pm<b>rroyma24</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 11:41am<b>clintml11</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 1:17am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:34am<b>thatguy240</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 2:26am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 2:05pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:42pm<b>CommentKing207</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:08pm<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:00pm

Fucked!<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:25pm<b>zuvi9</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 2:43am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:10pm<b>kobra33</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:36pm<b>Tim2415</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:51am

awaywiththefairi's FML badges

The rules are the rules

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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awaywiththefairi's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

by weddingblues / 05/30/2011 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

by Derp-A-Herp / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

by Eva / 02/13/2011 at 4:32am / Intimacy

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

by unknown / 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

by Catois / 03/05/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

by funyfunkid / 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2009 at 1:07am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my daughter asked me if we can make sticker art. Of course I said it was ok so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML

by inboxbuddies / 06/16/2009 at 6:35am / Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah) / Kids

Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

by beep_guacamole / 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML

by zaneey / 01/17/2009 at 1:41pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health