Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

avtotheism

Offline (the 10/23/2014 at 7:53pm) | Search for a member

avtotheism

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 846
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About avtotheism : Just a metal chick. Message me, etc.
Avtotheism.tumblr.com

avtotheism's page activity

Visits<b>ltaper11</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:39pm<b>CelticKing</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:30pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:29pm<b>ChildrenOfFilth</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:54am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:11pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 9:13pm<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 6:43pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:44pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 7:00pm<b>nlm92</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:19am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 1:08am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:52am<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:48pm<b>I_lost_the_game</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:52pm<b>ColtonStecher</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:03am<b>stevenJB</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 1:07am<b>anonymous188</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 9:16am

avtotheism's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of avtotheism's badges

avtotheism's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML

#21225337
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33556) - you deserved it (9776)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:28pm - work - by heatherfeather22 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43125) - you deserved it (5119)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34431) - you deserved it (5919)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

#21220481
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43366) - you deserved it (10303)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46587) - you deserved it (3671)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35158) - you deserved it (11506)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38220) - you deserved it (4935)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47719) - you deserved it (6797)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67016) - you deserved it (4891)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40359) - you deserved it (11837)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36216) - you deserved it (17581)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (5515)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: