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avatarwill5

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avatarwill5

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  • Number of visits : 244
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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avatarwill5's page activity

Visits<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 4:23pm<b>atl904</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 12:06am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 12:12am<b>teddy4nyy</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:11pm

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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avatarwill5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (2926)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33292) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34466) - you deserved it (3715)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (3307)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41391) - you deserved it (5088)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

#21268628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37321) - you deserved it (4538)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm - kids - by Potforapeso (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40200) - you deserved it (6572)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46817) - you deserved it (6634)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53797) - you deserved it (13375)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
165 comments

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26740) - you deserved it (39152)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40749) - you deserved it (6392)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54982) - you deserved it (7746)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53878) - you deserved it (3459)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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