avatarwill5

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avatarwill5

12Fucked!

avatarwill5avatarwill5
  • Town/Country : Omaha, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1412
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About avatarwill5 : On here for the laughs; gaming, cycling and reading is what I'm doing most of the time. Whenever I'm not doing homework that is. I like to think I've done some cool stuff in my, so far, short life. Hit me up if you wanna talk

avatarwill5's page activity

Visits<b>trucker2</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 4:37am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 6:28pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:49am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 3:40pm<b>ChuckHolmes</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 1:40am<b>edmunson</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 12:50am<b>happyinaz</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 8:58pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 7:40pm<b>valleus</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 7:36am<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 6:23am<b>silmisstar</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 12:20am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:34pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 2:10pm<b>R_Sage88</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 1:53pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:46am<b>thatguy240</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 1:59am<b>madissin</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:47pm<b>IcedSapphire</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 5:06pm

Fucked!<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:54pm<b>silmisstar</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:10am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:44am<b>I_am_GIR</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:38am<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 9:52pm<b>wookieewhosshe</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 11:45pm<b>rhirhi923</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:27am<b>hallieee</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 6:31pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:41pm<b>x3jmac27</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:26am<b>spiceywicey</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:59am<b>Blueeyes0106</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 4:24am

avatarwill5's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of avatarwill5's badges

avatarwill5's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 6:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

by shittysituation / 01/05/2015 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

by marie0908 / 12/17/2014 at 12:29am / France (Aquitaine) / Intimacy

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2014 at 8:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm / Kids

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

by fucksake / 10/05/2014 at 11:55am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 11:47am / United States (Virginia) / Love