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autumn337

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autumn337

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  • Number of visits : 205
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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autumn337's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45513) - you deserved it (5936) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40847) - you deserved it (4258)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50313) - you deserved it (4838)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

#20432536
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39730) - you deserved it (3541)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50172) - you deserved it (4728)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25075) - you deserved it (1888)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25466) - you deserved it (2632)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30817) - you deserved it (22820)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31779) - you deserved it (5872)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20776) - you deserved it (1491)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21574) - you deserved it (4607)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (3231)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States



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