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autophobe

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  • Number of visits : 2485
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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autophobe's page activity

Visits<b>yegor</b> - the 04/03/2009 at 4:13am

autophobe's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

autophobe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (96643)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML

#1399688
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60502) - you deserved it (6147)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:50pm - animals - by Tragic (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML

#1386673
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22172) - you deserved it (67013)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:54am - love - by mammamia (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I brought back the puppy I adopted for my family. I spent months doing all the research on puppy care with two young children, and at least five hundred dollars for the dog, the supplies, toys... the whole bit. Turns out everyone's allergic to her. FML

#1386649
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46898) - you deserved it (7742)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:52am - animals - by achoo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

#1187689
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54415) - you deserved it (17987)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
927 comments

I agree, your life sucks (353557) - you deserved it (38789)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54185) - you deserved it (314047)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
751 comments

I agree, your life sucks (781484) - you deserved it (82935)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)



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