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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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authorkid

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authorkid
  • Town/Country : Canandaigua, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 January 1997 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 1196
  • Number of comments : 197
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 31 posted

About authorkid : Boo.
I have no life.

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authorkid's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

#17994746 (283)

I agree, your life sucks (28579) - you deserved it (3363)

On 10/16/2011 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (29076) - you deserved it (4474)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (1883)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

#14413679 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (18384) - you deserved it (4097)

On 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by edulover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

#14393948 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (28036) - you deserved it (4224)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (37709) - you deserved it (4050)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (24498) - you deserved it (3131)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

#13808592 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (2604)

On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (21032) - you deserved it (1722)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me on facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from facebook for iPhone." FML

#13543408 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (28686) - you deserved it (2901)

On 10/21/2010 at 10:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (14848) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I got hit by a flying log of Salami that someone threw out of their car window, and its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (17219) - you deserved it (1612)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

#13298402 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (12763) - you deserved it (26927)

On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

#13153122 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (5272) - you deserved it (50031)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)