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authorkid

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 January 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2929
  • Number of comments : 197
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 33 posted

About authorkid : Boo.
I have no life.

authorkid's page activity

Visits<b>TheStranger153</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:19am<b>gmoneytatortot</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:55pm<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:48am<b>Yogibob</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 5:47pm<b>aneisa22</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 12:15am<b>avtotheism</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:57am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 4:41pm<b>melons</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 7:03pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 9:36pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 2:58am<b>christinaaa_94</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:23pm<b>NCITQ</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:00am<b>annabanana0328</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 7:04am<b>OctoDope</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 10:39pm<b>jimmyjerm</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 4:05pm<b>emzie101</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 10:15pm<b>julako</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 6:26pm

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authorkid's favorite FMLs

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27122) - you deserved it (12841)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

#17994746
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37281) - you deserved it (4780)

On 10/16/2011 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36350) - you deserved it (5992)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37454) - you deserved it (2682)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

#14413679
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25455) - you deserved it (5732)

On 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by edulover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

#14393948
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35128) - you deserved it (5516)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47950) - you deserved it (5585)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33971) - you deserved it (4624)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

#13808592
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (3236)

On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (2507)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me on facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from facebook for iPhone." FML

#13543408
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36609) - you deserved it (4131)

On 10/21/2010 at 10:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21943) - you deserved it (4589)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23817) - you deserved it (2350)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

#13298402
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16862) - you deserved it (39907)

On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

#13153122
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31540) - you deserved it (3272)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)



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