authorkid

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authorkid

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4784
  • Number of comments : 197
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 33 posted

About authorkid : Boo.
I have no life.

authorkid's page activity

Visits<b>kintoki25</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 11:59am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 12:15pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:50pm<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:24am<b>anonymouslyyy</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:42am<b>ruppage</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 12:31pm<b>Scotth901</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:08pm<b>manthymonkey</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 5:14am<b>fringeisawesome</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:58am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:11pm<b>kaylizs</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:19pm<b>spencer353</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:11am<b>bakalov</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:36pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:48pm<b>ziul123</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:43pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:05am<b>johnrdz3</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:40pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:28pm

authorkid's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

authorkid's favorite FMLs

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

by anon / 03/05/2011 at 5:15am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

by edulover / 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

by georgiahick / 12/30/2010 at 9:09am / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

by fme / 12/08/2010 at 9:34am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

by dickwebs / 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm / Germany / Animals

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

by Bob / 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

by nothingdoes / 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me on facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from facebook for iPhone." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 10:25pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

by deadinavan / 10/13/2010 at 8:57am / Germany (Bayern) / Transportation

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

by ifpigsflew / 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2010 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:47am / Venezuela (Distrito Federal) / Love