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Offline (the 08/27/2015 at 3:04pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 February 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 467
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About austinssquidgy : Happy and sad at the same time seems to be my thing now. Happy because I'm with the most amazing man in the world named Dominik, but sad because I just had to leave him on the other side of the world.

austinssquidgy's page activity

Visits<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:26am<b>harleyquinnxx</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 9:07am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 8:46pm<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:37pm<b>Emanpirate68</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:48am<b>minimanion</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:04pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:02pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 1:14pm<b>A07</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 12:16pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 11:02am<b>Anno007</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 9:28am<b>hilamonster06</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:26am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 8:25am<b>CaptainSmith28</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 9:32pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:55am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:35pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:39am

Fucked!<b>A07</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Anno007</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:28pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 5:39pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 3:00am<b>byattwain</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 7:21am

austinssquidgy's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of austinssquidgy's badges

austinssquidgy's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

by fingwhore / 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

by SofaKingPretty / 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (California) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

by John / 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

by dumbass1991 / 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm / United States (Washington) / Geek

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 3:53pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

by Sigh / 09/13/2009 at 8:42am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous