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auro7

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auro7

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 489
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About auro7 : I might be a sloth behind the screen, you'll never know.

auro7's page activity

Visits<b>Riftrunner</b> - 2 hours ago<b>tweak2011</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:42pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:44pm<b>mathen</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 6:44pm<b>ositoakaluis</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:27pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:59am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:42am<b>Bluemoonie</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 11:48pm<b>midpri1213</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:33pm<b>ma10210</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:20pm<b>Kyrieee</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>shadownova62</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 8:08am<b>missabigayle</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:30pm<b>miiapaige</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 9:08am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:34pm<b>AllStache</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:14am<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 2:42am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:07am

auro7's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of auro7's badges

auro7's favorite FMLs

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44870) - you deserved it (22502)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34520) - you deserved it (24169)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (13520)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57192) - you deserved it (5174)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56701) - you deserved it (4037)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43899) - you deserved it (4520)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45778) - you deserved it (3979)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72388) - you deserved it (7164)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62817) - you deserved it (3349)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81181) - you deserved it (7696)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

#20691712
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16567) - you deserved it (41064)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

#20637622
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48724) - you deserved it (2792)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47952) - you deserved it (4535)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)



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