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audreys510

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

audreys510

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1409
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About audreys510 : I'm Audrey. I'm 18, a senior in college...I'm a mathematics major, computer programming minor. I also have a passion for makeup. I work as a research assistant in an economics research lab.

audreys510's page activity

Visits<b>seabass0923</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:05pm<b>LamentedSugar27</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:07am<b>CareFreeBanana</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:29am<b>keiNan</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:47pm<b>Chaoticthor</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:17am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:32am<b>myrle0</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:35am<b>brat0064</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:37pm<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:32am<b>VolitairianArrow</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 5:39pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 5:01pm<b>grammar_nazi125</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 1:49pm<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:36am<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:57am<b>shh_imbatmannnn</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Hikarishimizu</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:43pm<b>coolcocoxxx</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:00pm<b>monstermatt001</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:56pm

Liked!<b>seabass0923</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:05am

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audreys510's favorite FMLs

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54956) - you deserved it (10591)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51150) - you deserved it (4437)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67282) - you deserved it (9923)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML

#20639297
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50383) - you deserved it (4860)

On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49818) - you deserved it (4698)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

#20624422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49834) - you deserved it (3572)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63336) - you deserved it (14239)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79676) - you deserved it (4092)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65798) - you deserved it (12643)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50576) - you deserved it (10860)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (51107)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41055) - you deserved it (3403)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29592) - you deserved it (27414)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68679) - you deserved it (3919)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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