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About audreys510 : I'm Audrey. I'm 18, a senior in college...I'm a mathematics major, computer programming minor. I also have a passion for makeup. I work as a research assistant in an economics research lab.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML
Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML
Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML
Friday 7 March 2014