Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

audreys510

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

audreys510

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1114
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About audreys510 : I'm Audrey. I'm 18, a senior in college...I'm a mathematics major, computer programming minor. I also have a passion for makeup. I work as a research assistant in an economics research lab.

audreys510's page activity

Visits<b>Mightytall</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 5:18pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:42am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:44am<b>shh_imbatmannnn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:06am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:49am<b>QuaSiCos</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Noxialis</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 7:38pm<b>owlishes</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:36pm<b>Marine6297</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:17pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:10pm<b>nela25</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:01pm<b>weswheatley</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:55pm<b>PewDiePie_Lover</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:59pm<b>jessal</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:42am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:59am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:11pm

audreys510's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of audreys510's badges

audreys510's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46727) - you deserved it (18759)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML

#20757992
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39856) - you deserved it (19503)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33702) - you deserved it (28692)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51583) - you deserved it (3894)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47581) - you deserved it (4529)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53271) - you deserved it (8402)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend bought another expensive bong to go with the one he bought last month, along with his new phone, airsoft gun, and various other things he's blown our money on this year. He's bought nothing to prepare for our son, though, who's due next month. FML

#20729447
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45868) - you deserved it (24913)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:11pm - money - by InconsiderateMuch (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56968) - you deserved it (9861)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68324) - you deserved it (12871)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30766) - you deserved it (65485)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46670) - you deserved it (3371)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81373) - you deserved it (3453)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65530) - you deserved it (18691)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: