audreys510

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Offline (the 10/21/2016 at 8:24am)

audreys510

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3588
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About audreys510 : I'm Audrey. I'm 18, a senior in college...I'm a mathematics major, computer programming minor. I also have a passion for makeup. I work as a research assistant in an economics research lab.

audreys510's page activity

Visits<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:03pm<b>DrizzlePaws</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 10:00pm<b>oliversoden101</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 3:44am<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 7:30pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 6:22pm<b>Rozeyyy</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 7:12pm<b>IAmzephyr</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:23am<b>najraa</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 3:10am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:16pm<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:35pm<b>Gallik01</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:19pm<b>Skyzeri</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 2:26am<b>_powerslave666</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>1R1X0X0</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:49am<b>Brittin8or</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:59am<b>HarrisonX</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:51am<b>seabass0923</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:05pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:02am<b>seabass0923</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:05am

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audreys510's favorite FMLs

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

by deargodthepain / 02/02/2014 at 11:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

by give me an F / 01/05/2014 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

by lavenderpiss / 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

by CityBoysNow / 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

by the next james herriot / 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

by Iskylite / 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

by heartbroken / 09/09/2013 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

by xxSecretAngelxx / 08/19/2013 at 2:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

by JacksWag4 / 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Money