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audreyates's favorite FMLs
by DOGSNACHER / 12/28/2009 at 10:43pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by aawkward... / 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by IlikeGreenPlants / 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by pussystroker / 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own and that I work at. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2009 at 1:27am / United States (Montana) / Intimacy
Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML
by Anonymous / 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
by Anon / 10/03/2009 at 7:43am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Love
by TRAMATIZED / 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML
by Phoellie / 08/28/2009 at 7:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Holidays
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML
by gorgeousrenthead / 08/10/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy