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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Mobility
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33841) - you deserved it (7435)
On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13951) - you deserved it (30659)
On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49511) - you deserved it (3102)
On 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by ashlee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32955) - you deserved it (9651)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84182) - you deserved it (4760)
On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32553) - you deserved it (5134)
On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (7658)
On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38007) - you deserved it (2299)
On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (35618)
On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version
Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19739) - you deserved it (2591)
On 01/16/2010 at 11:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (9191)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23112) - you deserved it (1723)
On 12/28/2009 at 10:43pm - animals - by DOGSNACHER (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8754) - you deserved it (27653)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14919) - you deserved it (1599)
On 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by aawkward... (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41477) - you deserved it (2657)
On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)
Monday 17 June 2013
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