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audreyates

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 August 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 701
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About audreyates : Message me if you want to talk, oh, and follow me. :) xx

audreyates's page activity

Visits<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:09am<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:11pm

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audreyates's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35598) - you deserved it (20835)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45119) - you deserved it (8155)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

#13311710
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52443) - you deserved it (5581)

On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40123) - you deserved it (9442)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17285) - you deserved it (41131)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after waiting all day to get into my favorite band's concert, I got front row. At the end, one of them grabbed my CD and got the whole band to sign it. The last band member tossed it into the crowd, nowhere near me. FML

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

#12838933
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57775) - you deserved it (4054)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by ashlee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38221) - you deserved it (10197)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97538) - you deserved it (5638)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

#11977098
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38174) - you deserved it (5578)

On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48791) - you deserved it (9598)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45031) - you deserved it (3035)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11568) - you deserved it (45681)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML

#7376800
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26012) - you deserved it (3584)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (13509)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom



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