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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (2378)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, my best friend lost her virginity in the backseat of a car. I was sitting in the front. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (5940)
On 12/16/2010 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Olive14 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50634) - you deserved it (6762)
On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -
Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50634) - you deserved it (6762)
On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (7644)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his Cubical. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (2328)
On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -
Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25512) - you deserved it (1911)
On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (5420)
On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44425) - you deserved it (2962)
On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (4632)
On 10/29/2010 at 1:48am - intimacy - by ohmylordy (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (2131)
On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States
Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (4936)
On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28869) - you deserved it (16267)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38019) - you deserved it (6144)
On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States
Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44477) - you deserved it (4278)
On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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