audreyates

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audreyates

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1313
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About audreyates : Message me if you want to talk, oh, and follow me. :) xx

audreyates's page activity

Visits<b>03stroker03</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 3:32pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:09am<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:11pm

audreyates's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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audreyates's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, instead of watching a movie like a normal family, we performed random acts of kindness by handing out roses to total strangers in the freezing cold. No one would take them. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, my best friend lost her virginity in the backseat of a car. I was sitting in the front. FML

by Olive14 / 12/16/2010 at 3:03pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

by Annonmyus / 12/03/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

by Annonmyus / 12/03/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

by sissydlk / 12/02/2010 at 10:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

by Jack / 11/30/2010 at 3:48am / Intimacy

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

by Cantbreath94 / 11/13/2010 at 1:07am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

by single / 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

by ohmylordy / 10/29/2010 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

by nothingdoes / 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

by married / 10/16/2010 at 8:31am / United States (Connecticut) / Love