Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

audreyates

Search for a member

audreyates
  • Town/Country : Kentucky, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 August 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 626
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About audreyates : Message me if you want to talk, oh, and follow me. :) xx

audreyates's last visitors

sCrEaMiNgToAsT

audreyates's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of audreyates's badges

audreyates's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

#16002585
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50146) - you deserved it (4840)

On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (21700)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML

#15680012
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32678) - you deserved it (2736)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by kharrington - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

#15621485
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51139) - you deserved it (4012)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by Hanna (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97936) - you deserved it (6726)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45781) - you deserved it (5511)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12912) - you deserved it (34913)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

#15591776
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40419) - you deserved it (4759)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by guest - United States

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

#15561412
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36115) - you deserved it (7318)

On 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12981) - you deserved it (67003)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the mall with my friends, when a creepy man sat at the table next to us, and started rubbing his crotch, his gaze never leaving my feet. FML

#15482559
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33146) - you deserved it (3490)

On 03/25/2011 at 1:31pm - intimacy - by ewww - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18624) - you deserved it (86466)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44440) - you deserved it (8553)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43538) - you deserved it (18473)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43129) - you deserved it (12559)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: