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audreyates

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audreyates

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 August 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 676
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About audreyates : Message me if you want to talk, oh, and follow me. :) xx

audreyates's page activity

Visits<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:09am<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:11pm

audreyates's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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audreyates's favorite FMLs

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (4304)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19634) - you deserved it (35379)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19865) - you deserved it (33364) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36068) - you deserved it (3635)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (3265)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73263) - you deserved it (8529)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

#20087001
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14840) - you deserved it (18964)

On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (2304)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (1658)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12098) - you deserved it (22265)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29589) - you deserved it (3497)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

#19536972
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (4070)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25614) - you deserved it (4325)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16555) - you deserved it (28564)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10421) - you deserved it (50882)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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