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audreyates's favorite FMLs
by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 1:23am / United States (Ohio) / Geek
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML
by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous
by s0m3guy2010 / 04/18/2013 at 8:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Gurior / 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm / Canada / Intimacy
by Mimi / 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm / United States (California) / Kids
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 6:23am / Canada / Work
Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML
by crybaby / 04/12/2013 at 1:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
by Me / 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
by cjw / 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm / United States / Health
- Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today, my bike brakes failed as I was going downhill. I ended up running a light and hit a car at… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…